Blog feels that we have a moral obligation to use our powers of taste-making and superior judgement to aid the uneducated in seeking out the best food on campus. Of particular interest to us are fries, the ultimate side, the perfect snack, the primordial sauce vessel.
Admittedly, the blog team has not yet evolved to total group-think, and there were disagreements among the team as to the components of the perfect fry: hand cut vs. the bad kind, floppy vs. sturdy, pure vs. sauce vessel. As you look to us as messengers and experts on this controversial topic, please consider the human behind the review—we are not a monolith but rather a quorum. What follows is the definitive guide to fries on campus.
Alitiko Fries – $6.00 pre tax
These fries are perfect. Hand cut. Salty as hell. Burn-your-mouth hot. Though Alitiko rarely sticks to their advertised hours (don’t even try to go on a Sunday night) these fries are so damn good, and so close to campus, they’re worth it. If you want some extra fried good-ness, get the chips and dip (fried pita chips and tzatziki), it’s a decedent treat.
Ultimately, the reason they are so majestically good is that the perfect crisp outside of the hand cut fries wonderfully contrasts the soft inside. Hand cut fries are simply the superior make and model, reaching their pinnacle when they have the skin on—any true fry lover knows it. The Alitiko fries are just another ode to this excellent product, and they’re worth worshiping.
– Roxie Parker
Good Stuff Eatery Fries – $5.50 pre tax
The fries from Good Stuff Eatery are very much “side of fries” fries. The crispiest of them were amazing, with a golden-brown crunch and a heavy dusting of salt and grease to top them off. However, those were the fries that lived at the very top and the very bottom of the bag. The stuff in between could only be described as soggy and disappointing after such a strong start. My roommate and I both gave them a 7.5 out of 10. Despite the mediocrity of most of the actual fries, one thing saved them from becoming a complete flop (pun intended): the sauces. Good Stuff Eatery had an array of sauces up for offer (for free I might add!) from classics like ketchup and mustard to Old Bay, mango, and Sriracha mayo. The sauce gods smile upon Good Stuff Eatery. We tried them all, and in case you ever decide to go for yourself, the stand-outs were Old Bay and chipotle. That being said, though fries could definitely be seen as a sauce vessel for some, I think they should be more than that.
– Andie Ettenberg
Carvings – $5 pre tax
There’s nothing better than reliving your freshman year memories by gnawing on the delectable bistro fries at Carvings. Just five dollars, the deeper you get into these babies the soggier they get. Admittedly the sauce does most of the heavy lifting for these fries, but even those that aren’t covered in spicy mayo-y goodness fall apart on your tongue. Sober or wasted, one in the morning or one in the afternoon, these fries will take you back to a time when your biggest concern was that the communal shower would be flooded when you got back to Thurston.
– Caroline Morrelli
Roaming Rooster (Western Market) Fries – $4.99 pre tax
The $4.99 french fries at Western Market’s Roaming Rooster are one of the most bang-for-your-buck fast food items I’ve ever gotten.
A heeeeeefty amount of fries are dumped to the brim of a tall paper cup carelessly placed inside a greased-up paper bag. It isn’t the most eye-catching presentation, but it’s true to its spirit. What you see is what you get.
The fries are hand-cut and twice-fried (😍). They’re super fresh, perfectly salted, crispy, but soft on the inside. They’re a bit flimsy, but they maintain their structure. They have a great addictive crunch when you bite into them too. It ticks all the boxes of the perfect french fry consistency. No sauce is needed to improve.
I suggest getting them alongside the OG Nashville mild chicken sandwich. They’re a great pairing for the sandwich’s coleslaw and pickled onion, a yin and yang of earthy flavors and acidity.
When I finished eating the entire fry cup, I was rewarded with an extra amount of fries at the bottom of the bag. A Five Guys-esque surprise that pathetically made my day. I can’t believe I’ve spent these past two and a half years eating Absurd Bird fries. The Rooster’s are by far superior. I heavily recommend them. Blog-approved.
– Álvaro Ramal
Mason’s Lobster Rolls – $4.50 pre tax
Mason’s Lobster’s Rolls is chronically always out of fries. The first time I tried to get a serving of fries, they said they “don’t do that anymore.” The next time, they said they were cleaning the fryer, as I actively saw a cook using it. Then, finally, on a random Thursday night, I got my fries. When I first bit into them, I was extremely underwhelmed. They tasted like Pelham fries with Old Bay seasoning, but as I took more bites, it went from bad to less bad. What was once glorified Pelham fries was now expensive McDonald’s. One good thing, though, was that the texture was perfect: a nice soft spot between chewy and soggy. So would I get them again? No, and honestly, I probably couldn’t even if I tried.
– Sarah Wren Robinson
