By Caela Kushner
The Phoebe Bridgers concert at the Capital One Arena on September 29th was the embodiment of her lyric “cried at your show with the teenagers.” One woman with an angel’s voice brought an entire arena to tears with songs so devastatingly beautiful that they transformed the concert into an incredibly emotional display of music, yet I have no proof this night was even real.
Bridgers is currently on the North American leg of “The Lost Tour”— a series of shows that follows a strict no-phone policy. Therefore, upon entering the venue, everyone had to put their phone in a Yondr pouch, hence the lack of visuals in this piece). These pouches must stay locked, but you get to keep them with you. I attended the concert alone, and going in, I was scared of being isolated and disconnected from the world beyond the arena. However, to my surprise, I loved not having my phone. Instead of fixating on trying to record my favorite songs, I remained in the moment. My view of the stage wasn’t disrupted by a sea of arms held high trying to get the best angle. It felt freeing to be surrounded by people who were all presently existing and not stuck living through a screen. I really wish all concerts were phone-free.
The show began with Alex G as an opener. Before the show, I’d only ever heard one of his songs, “Pretend.” I found his performance uninspiring. The songs all sounded similar; I couldn’t make out any lyrics and he felt disconnected from the crowd. My favorite part of his show was the light design. The lights surrounding his stage were synced to the music, moving with the rhythm and changing colors based on the song’s tone. Impressively, though, he performed for an hour straight with no breaks or interruptions.
Regarding Phoebe, you could say the setlist gave me “motion sickness” from its emotional turbulence. She played “Funeral” and “Graceland Too” back-to-back—two of her saddest songs—then went directly into “Haunted”, a happier, upbeat song. She did this throughout the entire night. By swerving between songs of different moods, she ensured that no one would be sad for too long. I can attest to this, as I cried during most of her sad songs, but the upbeat ones pushed me out of this depressive mood and got me dancing, even if temporarily.
Throughout the entire show, a giant laser disco ball dangled above the stage, spinning laser beams across the entire arena. During songs from Lost Boys, the lights turned the same teal as the album cover and, similarly, for songs from Punisher, the lights turned blue and red. On the stage was a dome that covered the band when it was down, but when up, it was used to project planets and other natural satellites, as was done with the moon during the aptly titled, “Moon Song.”
Taking advantage of performing in the nation’s capital, Bridgers made sure to make her political beliefs known. “Trump is all of our abusive dad,” she told the audience, a claim that was met with an eruption of cheers and applause. She then went on to talk about her own experience with her abusive father and how distraught she was when he passed. However, she stated, “I wouldn’t mind if Trump died.”
The surprise song she played is my favorite track in her entire discography, “Chinese Satellite.” The lyrics are burned into my soul. I lived this song. Last year, after my friend committed suicide, all I could listen to was “Chinese Satellite.” It felt like Bridgers took all my feelings towards the situation and transcribed them in a way I never could. Hearing it played live felt like the expulsion of a curse. All the grief I buried beneath song lyrics came bubbling out when I heard it played directly from the source. I felt freed of my emotions and the burden of pain.
Like many concerts, this one had a false ending. She played the dramatic ballad and apparent final song “I Know The End.” The studio version of the track ends with Bridgers’s screaming, and the live version concluded with an entire arena screaming as loud as they possibly could, as Bridger shredded it on the guitar and the band played at max volume. It felt like a perfect ending to a show; the song was loud and dramatic, but it didn’t have that concluding message adequate for a concert filled with monumental power. After a short silence enveloped the arena, Phoebe came back on stage to perform “Lost Weekend Reprise” and then her actual final song, “Scott Street” from her debut album Stranger In The Alps. The song’s ending turned a crowd of anonymous people into a community. Everyone’s arms waved back and forth as the bicycle bell rang, and each person felt the nostalgic message of the song. As we heard the words “don’t be a stranger,” it felt as if we were all but that.
This concert was therapeutic and beautiful. Bridgers and her band put their all into each song; their emotions and passion were palpable throughout every song. Hearing the songs, feeling the music pulsing through my body as it played live, felt like I was cured of a feeling I buried deep within. Not having my cell phone felt freeing and provided a connection between me and the strangers who surrounded me. If you ever get a chance to hear this goddess live, I’d highly recommend going. It will be worth it.
